Finding my purpose again
- with god
hii looovies,
As few of my friends know I was once very active in a church community. Going to church every Sunday and attending the choir was always set. We had our assembly after the mass and our fellowship, bible studies and choir practices.
Jeff and I were very dedicated to learn and grow with the community and our family. Not much later after joining the community, we agreed to lead a youth group. We were around 15-20ish young adults, starting from 13 up to us two oldest, which was 17 at that time
We took our part as leaders pretty serious. At the beginning we arranged a lot of activities to learn more about each other. A while later we started to do some recollections. Where we drove out of town for a weekend to have private bible studies and activities to worship and praise god. We studied the Bible for a few topics and we shared our deepest moments with each other. We grew so much together for almost 5 years.. and then I neglected my part of the job. And since then I kinda felt, I lost my way. My purpose
Everything started to crumble since I moved out from home . It was my first time out of my parents house and being on my own, well with Jeff. While learning and focusing on the „new life“ I struggled to manage my weekly schedule. I also just started my first full-time job. So in short, my priorities changed. I failed and did neglect my youth group.
I did go to church every now and then but the dedication was different. I felt something was off and I missed more and more sunday masses.
I lost my way with god and one mistake lead to another. until one day I lost everything I knew and loved.. This time was the hardest one because our first relationship ended that time.. Yes, Jeff and I broke up few years ago.
fast forward to today. 2 0 2 4
so many things to feel blessed about
Jeff and I found our way back together. Got married. And now having our beautiful babyboy. my biggest blessings since then. but let's not forget everything else. I am still here living the life he did plan for me, my parents are here to watch my boy grow. sharing every important and beautiful moment with my inner circle and friends.
One of my goals for this year is to finally read the bible again. going to church and finding my way to worship and praising god again.
Don't get me wrong, I never lost my faith, I prayed and I went to church every now and then. But I always knew something was missing.
since Jeff and I got back together I realized this is gods work. I made a lot of mistakes and he still has chosen me to be his wife and mother of his children. he had the strength to give me a 2nd chance and to start again. and all this after I f'ckd up.
after finding out I am pregnant, I was so overwhelmed because this was everything I was praying for. And God granted me this blessing. The more happiness came into my life the more I felt guilt because of all the mistakes I did. especially for neglecting my way with god. I never felt worthy of everything he has given me and blessed me with.
and because of that I decided to nourish not only my mind and body but also my soul with the presence of god in my daily life. I am on my way to finding my purpose again and this will all start with god.
I'll keep you posted about this new journey, thanks for keeping up wth me loovies! until my next one xx
Comments