Hiii looovies, I saw a reel last night where some wise woman said marriage is never 50/50 and today it feels like the best fit for those words. It's been awhile but here is a little storytime for you ...
Kyle is going through his teething phase right now and that means sleepless nights and no alone-playtime for him. Which also means a lot of cuddling time with mommy though the whole day and I am not allowed to leave his sight AT ALL.
So because he kept me occupied all my chores where untouched. Laundry and dishes are pilling up. The house was a little messy, his toys were all over the place 😭 So on these days I normally wait until baby falls asleep at night so I'll have 30 minutes to get things done, until he is looking for me again. But this time I was exhausted and needed a break! I couldn't lift a finger because his emotional rollercoaster hit me harder than I thought. I knew he is not doing this on purpose and he is actually the one having a hard time. All he needed was my arms and my time to comfort him. And I felt so selfish being so exhausted and grumpy towards Jeff. Everything Jeff did was wrong (in my head) and was triggering me to put all my anger and frustration out on him. And today I just had enough....
yesterday my sis-in law brought me my fav donut right now, a pistachio filled and glazed donut by dunkin'. But it was late already and I was exhausted so I saved it for the the next day to enjoy. Like the other nights Kyle was again very needy. Was awake almost every 30min. Wanted them titties and I just couldn't move because I was scared he might wake up as soon as I move. Ok, so with maybe 3h sleep for the whole night I was going to eat my well deserved donut. Going to the kitchen and seeing the dunkin' box on the table, ready for me to open was such a happy feeling. I got my plate on one hand and a knife on the other (because I wanted to share my donut with Jeff) I opened the box and it was E.M.P.T.Y.!!!! . IT WAS FUCKING EMPTY! HOW? HOW IN THIS WORLD WOULD JEFF DO THIS TO HIS WIFE, you must think, right? But HE DID. Not even considering this last piece of donut to fucking share with me. I was like "WHAT THE HELL?!" And he was like "I'm sorry I didn't know you wanted it?" And I was like how can you not know this is my favorite donut? Or how can you not fucking think of sharing it, and not eat everything up????? I was so upset and angry with him because of a freaking donut!! 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️
And he felt the rage in me I wasn't ready to be talked to, so I immediately left the room. Almost 1h later he brought me a brownie from our bakery shop, flowers and breakfast! YES I ATE THE WHOLE BROWNIE! Hahaha but that's not my point with this story. He felt my anger and frustration was not because of the donut, of course not. He knew it was because of the Phase we all have been going through. He said "go back to bad and rest. I'll take Kyle and Thiago for a walk and then I'll take him to the playground. Go rest, take your time off!" So I did. I did NOTHING but lying in bed for the rest of the day and waiting for my food deliveries. After spending time with Kyle, Jeff managed also to visit Kyle's pediatrician appointment so I didn't have to. He brought dinner home, well ordered but that's fine for me too. He even managed to do 2 rounds of laundry and vacuum the whole house.
Of course I shouldn't have built the frustration within me. I could have told him days prior "I need you and please help me with this and that." But I'm that type of person, who can do it all. I can do this shit. I can handle all of it. And maybe that's where I am wrong. I always got his back when he has a lot on his plate and this is how it should be. When the time comes up and he is full with work, launching and tournaments, I'll carry his part if necessary because I know he would do the same for me. As long as it is for a certain amount of time we will adapt, learn and grow with every struggle. We will learn how to manage the next time this hardship will come again. Basically what I want to tell you lovies is, every marriage will have downs and struggles and thats OK! But for the sake of yourself, your relationship or marriage WORK THINGS OUT TOGETHER! Help each other, rely on each other, work with each other! talk things out. Take your time off!. watch out for yourself!. If you are running on low battery, make time to recharge. you, your partner and your family will benefit from it!
until the neeext one loovies!
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